The 25 best Christmas movies that aren’t technically Christmas movies

The first edition of "The Thin Man," which was such a hit that it led to five sequels, was a Christmas story. The plot gets started when Nick and Nora Charles leave San Francisco to spend Christmas in New York, where Nick's convinced to come out of retirement and find his old missing client. And like the best Christmas holidays, they spend most of their time drinking cocktails and shooting at decorations with an air gun. There's also a classic holiday dinner party, but it ends with a murder reveal and a skeletonized corpse.

What says Christmas more than shopping for gifts? Specifically at Fox Books, a giant bookstore that's slowly crushing A Shop Around The Corner under its corporate heel, as in "You've Got Mail." But before the store goes under, there's a lovely scene where Meg Ryan decorates a tree in her store while listening to Joni Mitchell's "River," as she's writing an email to Tom Hanks: "It's such a sad song, and not really about Christmas at all, but I was thinking about it tonight as I was decorating my Christmas tree and unwrapping funky ornaments made of Popsicle sticks and missing my mother so much I almost couldn't breathe." Sure, he hates Joni Mitchell and he put her out of business, but they're in love! And Fox Books probably offers free two-day shipping with Fox Books Prime!

Billy Wilder's Best Picture-winning classic, "The Apartment," all takes place around Christmas. Jack Lemmon tries to climb the corporate ladder by allowing executives at his company to use his apartment for trysts. But then it all falls apart after the company Christmas party, when his work crush attempts suıcide and ends up passed out in his bed. They fall in love while she recuperates and finally get together on New Year's Eve — after she mistakenly thinks his popping champagne cork is actually a suıcide attempt. Look, you can have suıcides in a Christmas movie as long as they don't succeed.

Shane Black has a theory that every movie can have a Christmas movie inside it, and that also applies to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. So in "Iron Man 3," when Tony Stark is testing out a new Iron Man suit, of course the scene is set to "Jingle Bells" (the Bombay Dub Orchestra Remix). Halfway through the movie, Iron Man gets separated from everyone he loves, and as the screenwriter says "loneliness is heightened at Christmas." Stark even befriends a kid who's a little like a young version of himself, giving their scenes a Ghost of Christmas Past quality. After all, isn't Tony Stark just Ebenezer Scrooge with better tech and a drinking problem?

One of the inciting incidents of "L.A. Confidential" comes with "Bloody Christmas," when drunk cops beat up a bunch of prisoners during a drunken Christmas party. Kevin Spacey's character, Jack Vincennes, not only throws some punches during the brawl, but he also busts some young actors for marijuana possession on Christmas Eve, illuminated by the lights of a nearby movie premiere — you know, one of those normal Christmas Eve movie premieres. The film shows that even nice cops can be naughty inside and might get coal in their stockings or a bullet in their backs.

Quentin Tarantino's New Beverly Theater in Los Angeles often schedules an unconventional holiday double feature on Christmas, showing "Die Hard" and "Three Days of the Condor" back to back. Christmas is all over the Robert Redford-Faye Dunaway paranoid thriller, with carols on the soundtrack and Christmas decorations all around. The Christmas songs underscore Redford's melancholy and loneliness — when he's reporting the inexplicable murder of all his colleagues, there's "Good King Wenceslas" in the background. Even when Redford (maybe) escapes at the end, a miserable Santa stands nearby ringing a bell, a mournful "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" underscores the scene and Redford ponders whether he believes in God, gentlemen or rest anymore.

Bruce Willis is wrong: "Die Hard" is absolutely a Christmas movie. Like many great Christmas movies, it's about people overcoming obstacles so they can spend Christmas with their loved ones. John McClane's obstacles just happen to be heavily armed German terrorists. The action starts with a Christmas Eve party at the Nakatomi Plaza, where McClane has unfortunately hung up his stockings and shoes by the chimney with care. It's going to be a rough night for his feet. He leaves a gift for the evil Hans Gruber as well — a deceased cohort in a Santa hat with a shirt reading "Now I Have a Machine Gun. Ho Ho Ho." It's a blow to the terrorists' seeming invulnerability and also a reminder that you should always make a Christmas list if you don't want to be unpleasantly surprised by your presents. And the final explosion of shredded paper falling like snowflakes means the filmmakers are totally justified in closing with "Let It Snow."

Geena Davis plays an amnesiac housewife in "The Long Kiss Goodnight," who discovers she's actually a CIA assassin after getting into a car accident at Christmastime. (In the movies, multiple concussions reverse amnesia, instead of giving you CTE.) With the help of Samuel L. Jackson, she diverts the villain's evil plan: to detonate a chemical bomb in Niagara Falls during a Christmas parade to blame Islamic terrorists. Yes, that's really his plan! Eventually Davis saves the parade and kills the bad guy, thanks to an improvised hoist from a string of Christmas lights.

Yes, "Gremlins" would be almost the same movie if it were set in another cold-weather month like January. But then how would we get a group of fearsome Gremlins caroling door-to-door ? And we also wouldn't have Phoebe Cates sharing the worst Christmas story of all time, about how her father broke his neck and died while climbing down a chimney dressed as Santa Claus. Nothing illustrates the nice-naughty dichotomy like the adorable Mogwais, who turn into ugly, scary Gremlins if you aren't careful with their care. The lesson is that the only person you should feed after midnight is Santa Claus.

"Meet Me in St. Louis" tells the story of a year in St. Louis, leading up to the World's Fair. But the budding trolley romance of Judy Garland and the boy next door almost falls apart when her father announces they're moving after Christmas — which leads to Judy Garland singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," which became one of our greatest and saddest Christmas carols. Garland gets engaged at the Christmas Eve ball, her father decides not to leave St. Louis after all, and everyone goes to the fair. 

Tim Burton's most personal film, "Edward Scissorhands," is about an artificially created human being with scissors for hands, who gets adopted by a family in the suburbs. And a big part of many people's Christmas is trying to fit in with a family even though you feel like an awkward monster. Edward gets chased out of town by angry villagers like Frankenstein, but his flight from the materialistic townspeople to the top of his mountain is also like the Grinch's journey in reverse. Also, dude is literally trimming trees for half this movie.

"Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" features writer-director Shane Black’s favorite thing: Christmas in Los Angeles. The movie begins with Robert Downey Jr. robbing a toy store for cash and toys, all the principal characters meet at a holiday party, and Michelle Monaghan spends half of the movie wearing a velvet Santa dress. Santa himself never appears, but if you look up in the sky at the right time in this film, you might see a corpse hanging off a billboard.

"Babe" is a sweet film about an extraordinary sheep-pig, but it also shows the dark side of the holidays — namely, that "Christmas means carnage!" When Ferdinand the duck learns about Christmas dinner, he knows that for animals on a farm, that means death. Babe, the oblivious pig, doesn't make the connection, even singing "Jingle Bells" to himself, even though to a portly young pig, that song is a less of a Christmas carol and more of an ominous dirge. Sure, Babe can herd sheep, but it's still easy to imagine Farmer Hoggett taking a bite of ham, smiling and murmuring, "That'll do, pig."

In "Holiday Inn" Bing Crosby breaks up his act with Fred Astaire after their Christmas Eve show to open an inn that's only open on national holidays. While this is obviously a terrible business model, it's an excellent vehicle for Irving Berlin holiday songs, since we get three different Christmas Eve scenes. That's where "White Christmas" comes from, the best-selling single of all time, and the inspiration for sort-of-remake "White Christmas" 12 years later. That song aged well, while the minstrel show number, "Abraham," for President's Day decidedly did not and gets cut out of most TV broadcasts.

The definitive Christmas moment in Tim Burton's "Batman Returns" comes when Christopher Walken's murderous businessman, Max Schreck (introduced as "Gotham's Santa Claus"), delivers a patronizing speech as he hands out gifts: "I just wish I could hand out more than expensive bobbles. I wish I could hand out world peace, and unconditional love, wrapped in a big bow." Then the Penguin's gang jumps out of giant gift-wrapped presents and starts destroying the city's Christmas tree. No one really has a merry Christmas in this dark satire of capitalism (Shreck's power plant literally steals power from the 99 percent), but at least Batman and Catwoman do get to dance under the mistletoe. And the title answers the question, "What does Bruce Wayne do when he gets a present he doesn't like?" Batman returns it.

"Little Women" has so much significant Christmas activity that it's almost an overt Christmas movie. Mr. March comes back from the war to reunite with his family on Christmas, Beth temporarily recovers from her illness, Meg gets engaged, and they play "Deck the Halls" on their brand new piano. Christmas represents the best times for the March family, before they grew up, married Christian Bale or (spoiler alert!) died from scarlet fever. 

All the sections of "Steel Magnolias" are linked to different holidays, but the Christmas portion is the most wistful. The joy of Julia Roberts' pregnancy is tempered with the fear that her severe diabetes could kill her as a result — "not exactly great news." Everyone decides to focus on the happy elements of the situation, and if Shirley MacLaine's Weezer can focus on joy, well that's truly a Christmas miracle. Besides, thematically it's more appropriate for Roberts to die on Halloween.

"The Sound Of Music" first became associated with Christmas because it was on TV around Christmas so much. But a lot of the movie has elements of Christmas. First of all, singing. There's decking of halls, although technically Maria decks out the children with the halls. "My Favorite Things" is sometimes grouped among Christmas carols because there’s effectively a naughty list (dog bites, bee stings) to go along with the song’s nice list (kitten whiskers, mittens) culminating in the brown paper packages tied up with strings, aka, Christmas presents. Liesl’s Nazi soldier boyfriend, Rolfe, could be on either list. Ultimately the Von Trapp family flees into Switzerland, which is neutral, just like Santa himself. 

The first clear sign that the White Witch is losing her power in "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardobe" is the presence of Santa. Think of the nightmare Narnia was back then – eternally winter but never Christmas. Plus, the only candy anyone ever mentions is Turkish Delight, so good luck finding a single candy cane. He also brought gifts for the Pevensie children, almost of which were deadly weapons because apparently Narnia's Santa is violent. He also drives a sleigh similar to that of the White Witch, raising uncomfortable questions about just how many creatures there are cruising around Narnia offering presents to strange children.  

In "Trading Places," two old rich guys destroy Dan Aykroyd's life and turn homeless man Eddie Murphy into a commodities broker, all on a bet. Aykroyd bottoms out when he crashes his old company's Christmas party in a filthy Santa outfit and gets drunk, brandishes a gun and shoves meat into his coat. It's a dark comedy but ultimately redemptive, as the two Scrooges lose in the end, thanks to organized stock fraud, a prostıtute's life savings and an angry gorilla. You know, the usual Christmas cliches.

"Eyes Wide Shut" may be an unsettling journey through an erotic underworld fraught with psychodrama, but it's almost emphatically a Christmas movie. There are always holiday lights shining through windows and Christmas trees in the background, contrasting with the sleazier and sleazier destinations in Tom Cruise's long, dark orgy-filled night of the soul. And where do he and Nicole Kidman resolve their differences at the end? FAO Schwarz, the biggest toy store in the world.

The climactic fight between Rocky Balboa and Russian heavyweight Ivan Drago happens on Christmas Day in Moscow, after Rocky spends Halloween and Thanksgiving doing CrossFit in the snow. Rocky chops down the Russian like a Christmas tree, wins by knockout and effectively ends the Cold War by winning over the crowd, including the Russian government officials. Rocky then wishes his son a merry Christmas and tells him to go to bed, because he doesn't understand how time zones work.

In "Reindeer Games," desperate criminals rob a casino, all dressed as Santa Claus, which is honestly lacking both as a disguise and an outfit you can move freely in. It's no surprise everything falls apart, and the other bad guys decide to drive Ben Affleck's "Rudy" (clearly short for Rudolph) off a cliff with some of the robbery money — like the Grinch disposing of Whoville's loot. But he escapes, gives out the loot to strangers and eats a Christmas dinner with his family. Look, we often think of Christmas as a beautiful, pristine holiday, but sometimes it's more like a depressed Ben Affleck in a dirty Santa suit.

"Die Hard" is the most famous Christmas action movie out there, but "Lethal Weapon" started the bloody tradition a year earlier. Written by Christmas enthusiast Shane Black, "Lethal Weapon" features a shootout at a Christmas tree farm and the climactic Gary-Busey-Mel Gibson fistfight takes places on the lawn of an elaborately holiday-decorated house, illuminated by a helicopter's spotlight and a bunch of Christmas lights. Yes, it's a movie about heroin smuggling, special forces and torture, but the Christmas setting tells us that it's really about Riggs and Murtaugh becoming family. And no one's ever too old for that s---.

Chuck Norris battles Latin American guerrillas attacking Christmas shoppers in "Invasion U.S.A.," a movie that could not be set anywhere else but the state of Florida. Yes, it's literally a war on Christmas. And because the filmmakers were allowed to shoot at a mall that was being rebuilt, they really do blow the thing to bits. Also blown to bits? The terrorist leader, who Norris kills with a handheld rocket launcher. Merry Christmas!