Cam's QB contact complaints lead Week 9 in the NFL

Brian Baldinger and his finger won’t punditing for a while

Prior to Sunday night’s Eagles-Cowboys game, NFL Network analyst Brian Baldinger went on Philadelphia sports radio, a font of reasonable thought if ever there was one, and aired his thoughts on the upcoming game, including the suggestion that the Eagles should put a bounty on Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott. Well, Elliott did end up hurting the Eagles pretty bad in the game, but I’m afraid bounties are most definitely a thing of the past in the NFL. And if they’re not, the league most certainly will not put up with an analyst employed

Don’t eat your fractured rib, Wade

The Broncos defensive coordinator got through a nasty collision with Melvin Gordon on the sideline Sunday not much worse for the wear. Wade was carted off in a scary scene, yet here we are four days later and he’s got the strength to compare his injury to eating barbecue. Do we think he’s actually had barbecue since going to the hospital or has it needed to be liquified and drank through a straw?

Belichick traded Jamie Collins so he’s actually bad now

Well-reputed Bill Belichick crony and jilted former Browns executive Mike Lombardi this week did the hard work of trying to convince everyone that Belichick was obviously right to deal linebacker Jamie Collins to the Browns for a third-round pick. Even though Pro Football Focus listed Collins as one of the ten best linebackers in the NFL this season, according to Lombardi, he’s actually a huge loafer who freelances constantly. Browns coach Hue Jackson had a nice counter to those comments: “He can freelance for me, then.” It’ll be years before we know who “won” the trade since we have to know what the Patriots end up doing with that pick, though it’s a big risk a Patriots team that’s rolling to deal a big cog of their defense, how matter how great Tom Brady looks right now.

Toradol sucks, gimme some Toradol

Some strange findings by ESPN in its survey of 226 NFL players regarding the use of marijuana and painkillers among players. While more players said that marijuana was better for treating pain and that fewer players would use painkillers if marijuana were permitted by the NFL, a majority of players said they would use Toradol if both were allowed by the league, in spite of concerns about long-term harmful use. Even though the survey was done anonymously, perhaps players were afraid that their names would still get out to teams as potential demon weed lovers. It’s somewhat a moot question, given that the NFL won’t remove marijuana from its banned list before the federal government takes its off its list of Schedule 1 controlled substances, though it would be nice to know the thoughts of some of the players who voted this way.

Ben’s big ass to play, according to Suggs

It’s the first meeting of the Steelers and Ravens this season, and one of the fixtures of the rivalry, aside from lots of barking and cheap shots, is Ben Roethlisberger missing games. Pittsburgh’s quarterback was missed seven against Baltimore in his now 13-year career, more than against any other team, and may very well miss his eighth on Sunday. Terrell Suggs isn’t buying it, preferring to play up the idea that Roethlisberger is a drama queen who plays up minor injuries just to take the field anyway. If that’s true, he’s really committed to the act, as the Ravens are 6-1 with Roethlisberger out of the lineup. So Terrell Suggs doesn’t have a great grasp on facts, but he sure does cuss real nice.

Red Zone bathroom pass

NFL watchability ratings are generally pointless. Everyone has access to the same prime time games and their quality typically corresponds to the night they’re broadcast. Sunday night is the best, Monday night is next, then there’s Thursday night.

Instead, here’s my expectation of how many bathroom breaks you might be able to get away with during a slate of games on Sunday. It’s generally going to be more difficult during the early slate because the NFL still insists on frontloading most of their Sunday nights into the early slot. 

Early slate: Pittsburgh at Baltimore / Dallas at Cleveland / Jacksonville at Kansas City / New York Jets at Miami / Detroit at Minnesota / Philadelphia at New York Giants

Expected trips: 2

If it weren’t for the AFC South, the North would be getting a lot more attention for being a crap division in 2016. The Steelers might be struggling due to injuries. Regardless of what Suggs believes, Roethlisberger is far from assured from playing Sunday. Even if he does, I imagine he’ll still be somewhat limited coming back from the injury that fast. Otherwise, there’s Jay Ajayi’s unlikely bid to rush for 200+ yards in three straight games. And that Eagles/Giants contest should be something just for the rancor that rivalry typically produces. Also, worth noting that NFC East games result in wife-husband nut kicks than anyone other division in the NFL.

Late slate: Carolina at Los Angeles / New Orleans at San Francisco / Indianapolis at Green Bay / Tennessee at San Diego

Expected trips: 2 

Six games to four! This is about as balanced as afternoon slates get on an NFL Sunday. Too bad the best of the bunch here is Colts-Packers, a game loaded with supposedly top-flight quarterbacks not playing as well as we’d like them to. Beyond that, let’s see if the Panthers can actually string two decent performances together this season.