Every song from Taylor Swift's new album, 'The Tortured Poets Department' as an NFL team simply based on the name

The wait is finally over. 

Taylor Swift's new album, "The Tortured Poets Department," will be released on Friday, April 19. And fans have already been given a sneak peek at the song titles. But there is no information on what they might be about.

So just to have a bit of fun prior to the release, I decided to match an NFL team to each song simply based on the name. Who knows, maybe we'll do another one when the album comes out and we know what everything is about. 

Here is the Track List (including four bonus tracks): 

Fortnight (feat. Post Malone)

New York Jets - It has been a lot longer than a fortnight, but this felt very fitting for New York considering how long it has been since the team made the playoffs. The Jets thought their luck had turned around after signing quarterback Aaron Rodgers prior to the 2023 season, but after 75 seconds on the field, he was sidelined with a torn Achilles. They haven't made it since 2013, but maybe this year will be different. 

The Tortured Poets Department 

Carolina Panthers - Bryce Young was the No. 1 overall pick in the 2023 NFL Draft and had a lot of expectations coming into the league. However, his first season was not what anyone expected, and it resulted in the Panthers ending with a 2-15 record. It's safe to say that Young was a little 'tortured' by how last season went and will look to change the narrative in 2024. 

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

New York Giants - After losing starting quarterback Daniel Jones and backup quarterback Tyrod Taylor to injury, the Giants looked towards Tommy Devito. However, his story was a bit funny and it started that he lived at home, where his all of his childhood toys probably still are. 

Down Bad

Los Angeles Rams - There were two big retirements in the NFL after the 2023 season, and that included Rams star Aaron Donald. The team will be 'Down Bad' as they try to figure out who will be able to replace the star defensive lineman. 

So Long, London

Jacksonville Jaguars - Out of all the teams in the NFL, the Jaguars have traveled and played in London the most as the NFL has looked to expand their international market. So for that reason, this song fits for Jacksonville. 

But Daddy, I Love Him

Dallas Cowboys - Cowboys fans are some of the craziest and will always root for their team no matter what. However, there are so many people that have a strong distain for Dallas. But that negative energy from others will never change Cowboys fans' opinion.  

Fresh Out the Slammer

Washington Commanders - Everyone remembers the Commanders game in November against the New York Giants at FedEx field when there was "an equipment failure," and the showers in both lockers were without hot water. So that stadium is known for being one of the worst and it's so bad that it’s like a jail. 

Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine)

Miami Dolphins and Tampa Bay Buccaneers- While there are three total teams in Florida, I've already used the Jaguars, so it's the Dolphins and Buccaneers that are left. 

Guilty as Sin?

Las Vegas Raiders - Las Vegas is known as Sin City. Enough said. 

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

Houston Texans - This was how things started for Texans rookie quarterback C.J. Stroud. He was just a first-year quarterback coming into the league, so nothing was expected to truly happen. But then they made it all the way to the playoffs, and even pulled off an impressive win over the Cleveland Browns in the Wild Card Round before falling to the Baltimore Ravens in the Divisional Round. So while people might not have been afraid at first, they are now. 

I Can Fix Him

Pittsburgh Steelers - Things didn't work out for Russell Wilson with the Denver Broncos, but the Steelers are hoping they can turn things around. A Super Bowl champion and nine-time Pro Bowler, Wilson just needs a solid team around him to get back on track. So the Steelers are hoping they can provide that and "fix him."

loml

Kansas City Chiefs - For those that don't know, loml stands for the love of my life. And based on one particular player who is on the Chiefs roster, this one seems very fitting for the Chiefs. (Yes, I'm clearly talking about Travis). 

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Philadelphia Eagles - The other big retirement this offseason was the Eagles losing center Jason Kelce. He has become a vital part of the organization and has become thrown into the spotlight even more since Swift's relationship with Travis Kelce went public. Not only are the Eagles with a broken heart, but also the rest of the world who fell in love with Jason. 

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

San Francisco 49ers - For this one, I interpreted smallest as the least amount of expectations. And with that, the decision was easy: quarterback Brock Purdy. The No. 262 pick in the 2022, also known as Mr. Irrelevant, had a large hill to climb in order to even get a spot on the team. But not only did he do that, but he also later earned the starting role and even took the 49ers to the Super Bowl. He might have been the 'smallest' at one point, but clearly not anymore. 

The Alchemy

Detroit Lions - By definition, Alchemy is defined as "a power or process that changes or transforms something in a mysterious or impressive way (Merriam Webster)." And that's something Lions coach Dan Campbell has done since taking over. His crazy leadership style was a change, but it's clearly working. 

Clara Bow

New England Patriots - For those that don't know, Clara Bow is an American actress who got her start in silent films in the 1920s. And the idea of silence is what stood out to me. For the Patriots with Bill Belichick leading the way for 24 seasons, there has been a very strict rule regarding players talking to the media. And as many know, Belichick typically took the silent route when speaking with the public as well.

*The Manuscript

NFL - Everyone claims the league is scripted, so why not go along with it? 

*The Baiter

Baltimore Ravens - After such an incredible regular season, the Ravens went into the playoffs as the top seed in the AFC. And things were looking up as they went into the AFC Championship game having to face the Kansas City Chiefs. And despite the Chiefs struggles all season, they had finally gotten things together in the end. So with a trip to the Super Bowl within reach, the Ravens baited their fans and weren't able to cross the finish line. 

*The Albatross

Seattle Seahawks - An Albatross is a very large bird, so the Seahawks fit perfectly with this one. 

*The Black Dog 

Chicago Bears - By definition, the Black Dog is used as a metaphor for depression. And the Bears franchise has been struggling for a long time, so the fans are certainly not happy. But things are finally looking up.