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The Mulligan: Why Matt Ryan deserves a Super Bowl do-over
It's not your fault, Matty.  AP Photo/Charlie Riedel, Miramax Films

The Mulligan: Why Matt Ryan deserves a Super Bowl do-over

Welcome to The Mulligan, where we examine the athletes, coaches, teams, referees, oddsmakers or anyone else in sports who should get a do-over for a bad beat that might not have been entirely in their control. This week, we look at Atlanta quarterback Matt Ryan’s Super Bowl effort and why he deserves a mulligan for that game.

Matt Ryan. He’s the NFL MVP and the greatest quarterback in Atlanta Falcons history. He was the third pick in the draft, a first team All-American, and scored an impressive 32 on the Wonderlic exam. But his team was up 28-3 in the Super Bowl and they lost in overtime. Does Matt Ryan deserve the blame for losing  the Super Bowl? 

Matt was a Boston College Eagle, so losing to the Patriots has some extra sting. But in the spirit of Boston, here's why, Matty Ryan... it's not your fault.

It's not your fault Kyle Shanahan took a job with the 49ers. Not only was he distracted by his new job during his weeks of preparation, but the 49er stink got on him and the whole offense. 

It’s not your fault Bill Belichick has a mystical ability to keep opposing coaches from running the ball in the Super Bowl. Mike Martz refused to hand off to Marshall Faulk, Pete Carroll ignored Marshawn Lynch and threw the ball at the goal line, and Dan Quinn forgot that when you need to run the clock out, it helps to actually run the ball. Belichick is better at convincing people not to run than the Democratic National Committee.

It’s not your fault you had the 4th-highest single-game passer rating in Super Bowl history and lost. In fact, it’s the only top-ten passer rating that didn’t earn a victory. 17/23 for 284 yards with two touchdowns and no picks is usually good enough to win, except for when you’re facing Touchdown Tom. As the president will tell you, ratings are all that matter.

It's not your fault people call you "Matty Ice." People assume it means you’re really cool under pressure. It really just means you’re a man of the people who appreciates a bargain beer. The expectations are unfair!

It's not your fault you’re in Atlanta, a city that's only allowed a victory every 15-20 years. The Braves won the World Series in 1995. Georgia won a national title in 1980. Once Donald Glover cleaned up at the Golden Globes, Atlanta exhausted its winning mojo until 2030 at the earliest.

It's not your fault that your defense managed to tip three passes on New England's tying drive and intercept zero of them. That's worse tipping than when Tiger Woods eats at Perkins.

It's not your fault that your defense gave up more yards than Los Angeles during the drought. Julian Edelman was covered as poorly as Breitbart on Black History Month. There were more blown tackles than a bait shop in a hurricane. They gave up more conversions than a lazy missionary. It was a joint failure of the defensive line, the mile linebackers, and the secondary. Those aren’t typos: those positions have no D.

It's not your fault that it's 2017, and the worst thing you can do is take an insurmountable lead. Cleveland came back from 3-1 in the NBA Finals, and Cleveland blew a 3-1 lead in the World Series. Doesn’t matter if it’s in a playoff series, or a championship game, or a presidential election. Nate Silver gave Donald Trump a higher win probability than the Patriots. In fact, with ten minutes left, Nate Silver gave Atlanta a better chance to win than Vladimir Putin in his next election.

It’s not your fault no one on the team could stop James White, with his 14 receptions and three TDs. It’s a serious failure in preparation not to notice that Tom Brady loves to throw it to Whites.

It's not your fault Alex Mack played the game on a broken leg, and that his biggest snap was in his fibula. He fell down in the 4th quarter and you took a bigger sack than Santa Claus. Plus your right tackle went out with torn ligaments. A line hasn’t collapsed like that since Ronda Rousey’s UFC title odds.

It's not your fault that you fumbled. You weren’t the one who called a drop back on 3rd and 1. That was Kyle Shanahan. You didn’t miss the block that led to the sack – that was Devonta Freeman, who was only in the game because Trey Flowers injured Tevin Coleman’s ankle. And the referees didn't call the Tuck Rule on your fumble, because the Patriots' deal with the dark lord forbids that. 

It’s not your fault you had to face Tom Brady in the Super Bowl, and that you don’t have the voodoo doll Eli Manning keeps in his locker. Although Eli is now working on an Odell Beckham doll – so he can sew the mouth shut.

It’s not your fault you lost the overtime coin flip, though it didn’t help that you wore a baseball cap out to midfield. That move doesn’t inspire confidence. It inspires people to speculate about your hair loss. Subconsciously, that might be why Matthew Slater called “heads.”

Matty, it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. Now go give somebody a nice long hug while you cry it out. Just not Dan Quinn or Kyle Shanahan. Judging by their treatment of leads, they’re not going to be able to hold on to anything for very long.

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